


i love a conspiracy

by antiopesgirlfriend



Category: Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Conspiracy Theories, Established Thasmin, thasmin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2018-12-30
Packaged: 2019-09-30 21:17:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17231360
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/antiopesgirlfriend/pseuds/antiopesgirlfriend
Summary: the doctor is on the fence about conspiracies – one episode she loves them, the next she doesn’t like them. ryan thinks she just hasn’t heard the right one yet.





	i love a conspiracy

**Author's Note:**

> thank you to TheIronDragon10 for giving me a wee proof-read <3
> 
> to warn in advance ~ thasmin are not central in this but they are an established relationship

After an adventure, Yaz, the Doctor, Ryan and Graham liked to relax in their own ways. First, they all sat around the table in the kitchen to have a cup of tea before going their separate ways. Then, Yaz and the Doctor would slink off to the library together, find a heart-warming book and settle in on the sofa to read it together opposite the roaring fire. Graham would make himself and sandwich and shuffle back to his room for some down time. Ryan would scuttle off to the games room to play whichever videogame he was in the mood for.

That was how things usually happened.

Today, Ryan changed their whole dynamic.

As usual, the four of them were enjoying their cups of tea, each of them sat on their own chair. Ryan and Graham were next to each other – Ryan catching up on social media and Graham catching up with the newspaper. Yaz and the Doctor sat opposite them - the Doctor sat back, her cup of tea held in both hands, the cup resting on Yaz’s shin as she rested her legs upon the Doctor’s lap.

“So, Doctor.” Ryan said, breaking the silence. “How do you _really_ feel about conspiracy theories?”

The Doctor shrugged. “As long as they’re not hurting anyone, I don’t mind them.”

Ryan narrowed his eyes at the Doctor. “What’s your favourite conspiracy theory?”

Yaz snorted. “Who has a favourite conspiracy theory?”

“Oi.” Said the Doctor, gently tapping Yaz’s knee in mock-discipline. “I don’t have a favourite.” She told Ryan, voice airy.

“You’ve got to.”

“Why have I got to?”

“You just do!”

“Now, now, Ryan.” Graham interjected. “We don’t all spend our spare time looking up weird things on the internet.”

“Yeah, Ryan!” Said Yaz, sticking her tongue out at the named.

Ryan shook his head. “You don’t know any, do you?” He phrased his words as a question, but it came out as more of a statement.

Slowly, the Doctor shook her head.

“I _knew_ it!” Ryan grinned. “Fancy hearing about the shared thoughts of humankind?”

“Ryan.” Yaz warned.

It was too late. He had piqued the Doctor’s interests. Her ears pricked up and she sat a little straighter. “I would love to.”

Ryan set his mug on the table and pushed it away from himself, not wanting to spill it while gesturing. “We’ll start off with a standard one.” He began. “The government is made up of lizards and the pigeons are all government spies.”

The Doctor’s eyes almost bulged out of her head. “That’s a standard one?”

Ryan nodded smugly, knowing he had the Doctor exactly where he wanted her, and exactly where Yaz never wanted her to be. “Do you want to hear more?”

“Yes please.” Said the Doctor, eyes still wide. All her attention was on Ryan as she pushed Yaz’s legs off her lap so she could lean further forward.

“There are still people who believe the Earth is flat.”

“No.” Breathed the Doctor, hanging onto every single word coming out of Ryan’s mouth. “But you’ve been to space! There have been photographs taken from space showing the Earth as a spherical planet.”

“There are people who don’t believe we’ve been into space, though.” Ryan fed the Doctor more of what she craved.

Yaz rolled her eyes. If Ryan wasn’t going to stop, she was going to leave. She didn’t doubt that he had a plethoric knowledge of any and all conspiracy theories. Soon it was going to be too much for her.

It was already too much for Graham. “Lovely chatting.” He said, standing up ready to leave. “But I think I’ll leave it to you lot. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Graham was met with a chorus of, “Good night, sweet dreams.” From the trio he was leaving behind.

As soon as Graham was out of sight, the Doctor whipped her head back around to face Ryan. “What do you mean there are people who don’t believe you’ve been into space?”

“Just that, Doctor.” He said, leaning his forearm on the table. “They don’t think we have the technology to make it up. Plenty of people think the moon landing was faked.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“He’s not.” Said Yaz. “It’s those kinds of people that we have to deal with at work every day.”

The Doctor turned to Yaz, doe-eyed. “So there are people in Sheffield that believe it?”

“People _everywhere._ ” Ryan answered.

“There are also people who believe the government have everyone tagged with some kind of chip.” Added Yaz. “They are the worst to try and arrest. They won’t listen to anything!”

“What kind of chip?” Asked the Doctor.

“It’s something like an RFID chip I think.” Yaz said, unsure of her answer.

“That’s the one!” Ryan grinned, pointing at Yaz. “I knew you knew more about conspiracies than you were letting on.” He turned to the Doctor. “Radio-frequency identification chips.”

“So the lizard government know where you are when the pigeons can’t see you.” Said the Doctor, voice and face full of wonder.

“You know it.” Said Ryan. “And I have one last one that I think will intrigue you greatly.”

The Doctor leaned in closer, almost climbing atop the kitchen table. “What is it?”

“It’s called the chemtrail conspiracy.”

“Oh, you’re not.”

“Oh, I am.”

“Yaz, be quiet. I want to hear about the chemtrail conspiracy.” The Doctor waved her hand in Yaz’s face, not taking her eyes off Ryan.

Yaz sat back, defeated. She could do no more but let it happen. She would not leave though, she decided. It was better to be present to try to stop things from getting out of hand.

“The chemtrail conspiracy theory is where people believe the trails left in the sky from aeroplanes are ‘chemtrails’ made up of agents which are sprayed to control life on Earth.”

The Doctor sat back in her chair, face scrunched. “That isn’t a conspiracy I like the sound of.”

“None of them are true, though, Doctor.” Said Ryan. “Are they, Yaz?”

“Oh, definitely not.” Said Yaz. “They’re mostly people fearmongering and then they end up being believed by fools.”

The Doctor looked between Ryan and Yaz with narrowed eyes. “Those so-called _fools_ are usually the ones that survive the longest when things go wrong.”

Yaz and Ryan shared a worried look.

“I swear I’m only telling you these things because they’re made up, Doctor.”

“These things aren’t fabricated out of nothing, Ryan.”

“But, Doctor.” Said Yaz. “These things have been disproved.”

“By who?” Asked the Doctor.

“By the government.” Said Yaz and Ryan in unison, their eyebrows raised, unsure how they could now un-convince the Doctor of her newfound conspiracy theories.

“Exactly.” Said the Doctor, nodding knowingly. “And the government are the ones who are supposed to be putting out these ‘chemtrails’.”

Yaz and Ryan looked to each other, desperately trying to find a way to veer the Doctor away from where they knew she was heading.

“Fam.” Sad the Doctor.

It was too late. They could do nothing. All they could do now was sit and listen to the inevitable. Things were out of hand.

“We have an adventure that’s calling our name.” Finished the Doctor. “You two finish your teas. I’m going to find Graham. We’re about to find out the truth about chemtrails once and for all!” She skipped out of the kitchen but popped her head around the corner just moments after she left. “And maybe investigate a few others. I’d like t0 quiz some of your MPs. See how reptilian they truly are. Might even fit in some bird watching! I’m awfully intrigued about those pesky pigeons now.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading my nonsensical ramblings! i appreciate you all <3


End file.
